excellent awkward

Synopsis: Lady Crane performs in the play recounting Joffrey’s death and this time she’s an angry Cersei, per Arya’s prior direction. Backstage, she is stunned to find a wounded Arya. Lady Crane stitches Arya up back at her place. Arya asks about the actress that wanted Lady Crane dead. She says she took care of her. She invites Arya to join the troupe, but Arya says she has other plans. Some of the men that slaughtered Brother Ray’s group are sitting in the woods having a chat when they are disrupted by the Hound and his axe. Heads roll, entrails unleashed, and Clegane asks the last one where their leader is as he’s bleeding out. Tyrion and Varys walk the streets of Meereen and catch one of the women who serves the priestess spreading the heroism of Daenerys. Tyrion’s plan was successful. As they approach the gate, Varys takes his leave. He is needed elsewhere. Qyburn tells Cersei that members of the Faith Militant have been invited into the Red Keep wishing to speak with her. She sees the men with the Mountain. She has been summoned by the High Sparrow, but Cersei refuses to leave. Lancel cautions her that if she doesn’t come with them there will be violence. She agrees to that and they all watch as the Mountain rips the head off one of the Faith. Cersei tells the others the High Sparrow is welcome to visit her in the castle. Brienne and Podrick arrive in Riverrun and see that the Lannister army have camped outside. Bronn and Podrick get reacquainted and Bronn helps with Pod’s training. Jaime and Brienne catch up and Brienne updates Jaime on Sansa’s plan to take back Winterfell. As they discuss each other’s allegiances they realize they are on opposite sides. Jaime lets Brienne offer Brynden safe passage out of Riverrun to support Sansa in exchange for surrendering Riverrun to the Lannisters and he agrees. She tries to return his sword to him but he refuses. It’s hers. Brienne fails to convince the Blackfish to surrender. Brienne tells Pod to get a raven to send back to Sansa. Tell her I failed, she says.

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Synopsis: What’s this now? A scene before the opening credits? The first time since the season 4 premiere, and the first time it hasn’t been a premiere. We see a bunch of men pulling a Habitat for Humanity as they build a house, under the tutelage of Brother Ray (guest star Ian McShane). One of the men is revealed to be none other than the Hound, who is apparently not quite dead. Brother Ray comments that he’s never seen anyone swing an ax like the Hound. When the crew breaks for lunch, The Hound eats by himself. Brother Ray says the other men are afraid of him, but Sandor is used to that. It was Ray that found the Hound near death and brought him back. He asks what kept him alive and the Hound says “hate.” Brother Ray says the gods have plans for him. The High Sparrow visits Margaery as she’s reading one of the holy books. They discuss the religious texts and then the Sparrow asks why Margaery hasn’t resumed trying to make a baby with her husband. She doesn’t have the interest, she admits, but he assures her that she must provide Tommen with an heir to keep all the good work that they’ve done. Then, the Sparrow manages a veiled threat against Olenna. Margaery is allowed to see Olenna under supervision, which grandma is none too excited about. Magaery maintains all of her support for the faith, and tells Olenna she needs to go home, while slipping her grandmother a small paper with the Tyrell rose on it. Margaery letting Olenna know she’s still on their side. In the field, Jon Snow, Davos and Sansa meet with the Wildlings who don’t want to give their support to Jon. His fight is not their fight. Jon agrees, but if they don’t help him now they will be fighting the Boltons once he destroys Jon. Tormund convinces his people to support Jon, but the giant’s support helped too.

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Synopsis: Meera continues to drag Bran through the cold, and he’s still out of it, flashing throughout time. He sees himself falling out of the tower, the mad king Aerys shouting “burn them all,” Jaime stabbing Aerys in the back, Ned’s beheading, Robb’s death, and many other events.  The wights move in closer and Bran awakens saying “they found us.” Meera apologizes. As the wights attack, a cloaked man on a horse with a flaming weapon stops them. He tells Meera to follow him. Sam, Gilly and baby Sam approach his home. Gilly notes Sam is nervous, and he admits he never thought he’d be back there. She also figures out he never told his family she was a wildling. Sam and Gilly enter the massive Tarly estate where he is reunited his mother and sister. He tells them Baby Sam is his son. The High Sparrow and Tommen meet in the Sept, discussing Margaery’s conversion to the faith. Tommen finally gets to see his wife and they share a warm embrace. Margaery admits she’s made mistakes but Tommen says she’s a good person. She hopes that Loras will get the same chance at freedom. Gilly, all made up and in a dress joins Sam for dinner where we meet Lord Randyll Tarly and Sam’s brother Dickon. Dinner is quiet and tense. The elder Tarly is cruel and vile towards Sam, and Gilly sticks up for him, referencing his killing of a White Walker. Randyll figures out Gilly is a wildling, and he is the opposite of ecstatic. He points out the Valyrian steel sword, Heartsbane, that has been in their family for 500 years, and vows that Sam will never have it because he has dishonored the family. He tells Sam he has to leave in the morning and never come back. Instead, Sam takes Gilly, baby Sam, and Heartsbane and leaves in the middle of the night.

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Synopsis: Sansa is knitting when she received a note from Littlefinger. She takes Brienne with her to meet him. He says he’s happy to see her, but she is cold. She recounts the horrors of her wedding night and asks if Baelish if he knew what a monster Ramsay was before he had her marry him. She threatens Petyr and tells him to go away and that she doesn’t ever want to see him again. Before he goes he tells her that her uncle, Brynden the Blackfish, has retaken Riverrun and she might seek him out should she need an army. Arya fights with the Waif (ugh, the Waif) who tells her she’s not ready, because that’s the only thing she seems to know how to say. She manages to knock Arya down as Jaqen walks by. Jaqen takes Arya back to the Hall of Faces, and offers her membership into the Faceless Men. He gives Arya a second chance, by giving her some poison, and a target, a local actress. Arya watches the actress, Lady Crane, who is Cersei in a play covering King Robert’s death, Ned’s beheading, Tyrion’s marriage to Sansa and other events, but mostly exaggerated. Backstage, Arya spies on Lady Crane and later tells Jaqen how she plans to do it. Bran is visiting the past. He watches as Leaf and the other children create the Night King, who is just a man until she plunges dragonglass into his chest. Bran awakens and questions Leaf about making the White Walkers. She says they did it to defend themselves from men.

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Synopsis: Davos is stunned when he sees Jon Snow rise from his table. He is confused and struggles to breathe. He stumbles off the table and Davos helps him. Melisandre arrives as Davos asks what Snow remembers. Jon says he remembers being stabbed. Melisandre asks what he saw after and he says nothing, nothing at all. Melisandre thinks Jon is the prince that was promised and the lord of light must’ve brought him back for a reason. Davos convinces Jon to return to his men. He does, hugging Tormund and Tollett, but admitting he’s not sure what he is. Sam and Gilly travel across the sea, which is making Sam sick. Gilly is excited to see Oldtown, but Sam tells her that she won’t be allowed in the Citadel. Sam confesses that they are going to his parents’ house first so that she and baby Sam will have a place to stay and his mom can help care for them. Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven are back in the past watching Ned and Howland Reed, Meera and Jojen’s father, face off against a couple knights. Ned demands to see his sister, but the knights refuse and everyone starts slinging blades. Ned and Ser Arthur Dayne, one of the knights, are the only two left, and Dayne has Ned on the ropes, but Howland stabs Dayne in the back, leaving Ned to finish him. Bran says this isn’t how he was told this story. Ned hears a scream and heads towards a tower, and Bran calls after him, and Ned appears to have heard him. The Raven pulls Bran back to reality. Bran wants to return to the vision, but the Raven says he has to learn everything, in order to become the next Three-Eyed Raven.

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Synopsis: After sitting last season out, Bran is right where we left him in season 4, with the Three-Eyed Raven (although puberty has definitely smacked Isaac Hempstead Wright upside the head). The two jump into the past and witness Winterfell years ago with young Ned and Lyanna Stark in the courtyard, as well as young Wyllis, who Bran recognizes as Hodor, and is amazed that he was once able to talk. Bran wants to play in the past, but the Raven wakes him up. Bran finds Meera outside sitting watch and tells her what he’s learned. Leaf sits by Meera and assures her that Bran needs Meera. Thorne returns to Davos and asks him to surrender. Davos and the others draw their swords as the Night’s Watch bust down the door. Before they make it through, Wun Wun breaks down the door to Castle Black and a herd of Wildlings along with Tollett take over the castle. Thorne and the others are taken prisoner. In King’s Landing, a man speaks ill of Cersei, and afterwards when he’s taking a piss, the Mountain smashes his head in. Cersei and the Mountain prepare to leave the Red Keep, but are barred from doing so from the kingsguard on orders of King Tommen. Tommen and Jaime pay their respects to Myrcella, and Tommen says he thinks it was Cersei who killed Trystane. Jaime asks if Tommen is upset with Cersei, but he denies it, saying he hasn’t seen her because he feels guilty and with his wife and mother locked up, he appears weak. The High Sparrow arrives and Jaime threatens him, but before he can draw his sword an army of Faith Militant arrive. The High Sparrow leaves with a smirk. Tommen finally visits Cersei and apologizes for keeping her locked up and not visiting her sooner. He didn’t want to risk losing her again. Tommen asks for her help in being strong.

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Synopsis: Wolves howl at Castle Black as Jon Snow’s bloody body lies underneath the “traitor” sign when last we left it. Ghost tries to get out of his cage, and his moans alert Davos, who is the first to discover Snow. Soon, Tollett and others arrive and take his body inside. Tollett accuses Thorne, and Davos thinks they need to stick close to those they can trust. Melisandre soon enters and sees Jon. She is saddened and confused. She saw him in the flames, fighting at Winterfell. Thorne addresses the Night’s Watch. He admits his hand in Jon’s death, but says he killed him because Jon betrayed the Night’s Watch by letting the Wildlings through their gates. Back with Snow, Tollett is ready to die but Davos says they don’t have the numbers, but they aren’t the only ones who owe their lives to Jon Snow. Edd leaves in a rush. In Winterfell, Ramsay says goodbye to Myranda and vows to avenge her death, but also has her fed to his dogs. Roose chastises Ramsay for letting Sansa escaping and how her escape affects his standing. Theon and Sansa run through the snowy woods as they hear dogs coming after them. They trudge through a freezing lake to get some distance, but they don’t make it far enough. The searchers have found them but, thankfully, so have Brienne and Podrick. They fight off the men, and Brienne once again offers her protection to Sansa. This time, Sansa accepts. Jaime arrives home, and Cersei rushes out to meet him and her daughter, but as he sails ashore, she sees a body and understands that her daughter is gone. Cersei and Jaime cry about it later, where Cersei recounts the prophecy of Maggy the Frog. Septa Unella reads the holy book with Margaery and urges her to confess but Margaery only asks about her brother. The High Sparrow interrupts, sending the Septa away. He tells Margaery that her husband misses her and also urges her to confess but she maintains her innocence.

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Synopsis: Melisandre takes the thawing snow as a sign that their sacrifice of Shireen was the right move. She pushes Stannis to continue his march. He is cold to her. When they regroup with their men, they are informed that half of the army left in the middle of the night, but there’s worse news. Stannis is shown Selyse has hung herself. Stannis is then informed that Melisandre has left, but he commands his remaining troops to prepare for battle. Jon recounts the battle of Hardhome for Samwell, and the newly discovered info that Valyrian steel can kill a White Walker. Sam asks Jon to send him away to the Citadel to learn to become a maester. Snow doesn’t want to lose his friend and best advisor, but Sam says if he stays that Gilly and baby Sam will die and he will die trying to save them. Snow finally agrees. Sam also hints that he got his v-card punched. Later, Jon bids them farewell. Stannis and his army arrive at Winterfell, which Podrick is the first to see. He runs and tells Brienne. Sansa breaks out of her room and makes her way up to the tower to light the candle herself, just as Brienne gives up on watching for it. As Stannis and his men near the castle, the Bolton army meets them and Stannis already defeated draws his sword anyway. Sansa watches from the tower. Later, Stannis’ army in tatters, bodies strewn everywhere, an injured Stannis fights off two Bolton men, but falls to the ground, injured. He looks up and sees Brienne. She introduces herself and recounts watching Renly die. Stannis admits his part. Brienne asks for his last words, but he just tells her to do her duty, and she does. Sansa sneaks around Winterfell until she is caught by Theon and Myranda. Myranda taunts Sansa and draws her bow and arrow, but before she releases it, Theon pushes Myranda over the wall. Splat. They hear the sounds of the drawbridge oening and realizing Ramsay is returning, Sansa and Theon jump into a snow bank on the outside of the castle.

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