Synopsis: Tormund is brought to Jon Snow and his chains are removed. Jon charges Thorne with command while he is gone and Thorne tells him he’s an idiot for this plan. Jon says goodbye to Samwell and as a parting gift, Sam gives him his dragonglass dagger. Jon and Tormund saddle up and are outta there, with Tollett and a few others. After, Sam and Gilly visit Maester Aemon with baby Sam as he begins to drift away. And now his watch is ended. Theon arrives in Sansa’s room as the visibly-bruised bride of Ramsay awakens. Sansa begs him for help and gives him the candle to put in the window. Instead, Theon takes it to Ramsay, while Brienne watches from afar for any sign. The men of the Night’s Watch lay Aemon to rest as Sam eulogizes him. Thorne takes the opportunity to chide Sam for losing all of his friends. Ramsay and his new wife survey Winterfell as Ramsay talks of the future. Sansa throws his pending baby brother in his face, suggesting he will have a greater claim than Ramsay. Ramsay’s legit, he says, but Sansa points out Tommen, another bastard, was the one who legitimized him. Ramsay shows Sansa the old woman who offered her help. She has been flayed. Theon hovers nearby, with the candle. Ramsay tells Sansa she isn’t going anywhere. At Stannis’ camp, Davos warns Stannis that this is not the right time to go into battle, as the snow is getting worse. Stannis assures him, victory or defeat, they will be marching. Melisandre tells Stannis that even though she’s seen them in victory, they still may need a sacrifice. The Red Woman suggests his daughter, as she is the only one around with king’s blood. A couple Night’s Watch bros accost Gilly and Sam comes to her rescue pulling his sword. He takes a swing, but the men overpower him and knock him around. Sam gets back up, beaten and bloody but the men aren’t afraid, until Ghost comes in, baring his teeth and then men take off. Gilly tends to Sam’s wounds and then tends to that pesky virginity that has been plaguing him, but no more.
The slavers make their way to Mereen and put Jorah up for auction in the fighting pits. Jorah is sold quite readily, and Tyrion jumps in to say they are a package deal. He beats his captor to demonstrate his skill and the buyer agrees. Dany and Daario are in the sheets, where Daario admits he’s jealous that Dany will be marrying Hizdahr. Dany rolls her eyes and reminds him it’s just politics. Politically, he thinks she’s better off murdering as many masters as she can, but she says she’s a queen, not a butcher. In King’s Landing, Olenna finds the High Sparrow and demands the release of her grandchildren. He says he’s only working in service to the gods, and cannot be bribed, bought, or swayed. Her grandchildren broke the law and the gods demand justice. Tommen snaps at his mother because of Margaery’s incarceration. He is powerless, despite being the king. Cersei tries to talk him down, but Tommen wants blood. He wants to bring in an army to fight back. He admits he loves Margaery. Cersei offers to talk to the High Sparrow herself. Jaime is taken to Myrcella and he makes his case that he has to bring her back to King’s Landing. Myrcella doesn’t want to go. She’s spent years in Dorne now and this is home, and she loves Trystane. She’s not going back. The sand snakes share a cell next to Bronn. One of the snakes (does it matter which?) taunts Bronn to get his blood flowing. She tells him her spear was poisoned when she attacked him and he falls to the ground as the poison takes effect, but she has an antidote, which she tosses over to him, rendering this scene fairly useless. Littlefinger surveys the damage in his brothel, but he felt it was a safe spot to visit Olenna. Olenna reminds him their fates are intertwined, they killed a king together. Littlefinger tells her that he had to share info to Cersei, but he offers her a gift as well.
Jorah and Tyrion have made their way to the fighting puts and prepare for battle. Dany and Hizdahr sit and watch, as is customary, but Dany does not enjoy the violence. A helmeted Jorah makes his way onto the battlefield and takes out the other fighters. Dany is shocked to see him in the pits but orders him to be taken away. He says he brought her a gift. Tyrion arrives introducing himself as said gift. Cersei visits Margaery and all pretenses have been dropped. The Queen lays into the Queen Mother. She knows this was her doing. She yells at her to get out. Cersei smirks as she leaves, and then meets with the High Sparrow. He tells her how the trial will go and what their options are should they confess. The High Sparrow then tells Cersei that he has spoken with Lancel and has learned a lot about Cersei. As she tries to leave, a Septa blocks her exit, and Cersei is taken to her own cell.
Comments: The chickens have come home to roost for the queen mother. For Cersei, who has spent the entirety of the show scheming and plotting to get her way, she finally is faced with being on the opposite end of those machinations. She empowered the Faith Militant to get Margaery away from Tommen, and now she finds herself in their clutches and the throne neutered in their ability to respond. While it is good to see Cersei finally get what’s coming to her, there’s no rooting interest in the Faith, so it’s an interesting struggle between the worst of religion and the worst of politics, an apt allegory for the times we live in. After a season of slow burn, this episode finally starts to build some momentum, after many years, a Targaryen and a Lannister stand face to face. More importantly, after five seasons, two main characters finally meet and Dany’s never-ending side story gets connected to the main plot through Tyrion, the closest thing the show has to a main character. I mean, he has appeared in more episodes than any other.
Quotes:
Olenna (to the High Sparrow): Don’t spar with me, little fellow.
High Sparrow: You are the few. We are the many. And when the many stop fearing the few…
Myrcella: You looked different when I left. You had more hair.
Jaime: And more hands.
Margaery (to Cersei): Lies come easily to you. Everyone knows that. But innocence, decency, concern, you’re not very good at those, I’m afraid.
Margaery: Get out you hateful bitch!
Cersei (to the Septa): Look at my face. It’s the last thing you’ll see before you die.
Foreshadowing: Cersei talks of burning cities to the ground. The High Sparrow questions what’s beneath her finery, which isn’t as lewd as it sounds, but it will be. The poison of the sand snakes, and it having an antidote is a throwaway here but good knowledge for the future.
Title: In main reference to Jorah bringing Tyrion to Dany. He is the gift, as he says. But a lot of other gifts are passed around, Littlefinger has one for Olenna, Sam has one for Jon. In a way, the Sand Snake has one for Bronn.
Deaths: Maester Aemon, the first natural death on the show. There’s also the old lady that helped Sansa. Some guys in the fighting pits surely don’t make it out.
excellent awkward 