excellent awkward

Synopsis: Bronn and Jaime come up for air a fair distance away from the battle. At least they didn’t let us linger on the idea that Jaime was ever in danger. Bronn chastises Jaime for putting himself in danger. Jaime notes that they only saw one dragon. What sort of damage can she do with two more? Tyrion surveys the damage of the battlegrounds, mostly covered in ash. The remaining soldiers are brought in front of Daenerys (and Drogon). She says she is not there to murder them. She is not Cersei. She says she will spare them if they bend the knee. Some do, but others wait until Drogon gets testy. The Tarlys still remain standing and Tyrion questions their allegiance to Cersei. Tyrion tries to dissuade Dany from killing Randyll outright, but she refuses, leaving Drogon to burn them where they stand. The remaining men kneel. Disheveled, Jaime returns to King’s Landing to update Cersei. She asks the damage report, but Jaime says they haven’t even finished counting. Jaime says this isn’t a war they can win. He also tells Cersei that it was Olenna who killed Joffrey. Cersei is upset that Olenna’s death wasn’t brutal enough. Daenerys and Drogon return to Dragonstone where Jon Snow is waiting for them. Jon marvels at seeing the dragon up close, even getting close enough to touch him (he is a Targaryen after all even if he doesn’t know in, but hey, didn’t Tyrion also touch one of her dragons?). Dany updates him on the battle, and they talk about the brutality of war. They are disrupted by the Dothraki who present Daenerys with a returning Jorah Mormont. Jon tells Jorah he knew his father. Dany welcomes Jorah back with open arms, ecstatic that he found a cure.

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Synopsis: After sacking Highgarden and raiding its coffers, Jaime sends the bounty along to the Iron Bank (per Cersei’s promise in the previous episode). Jaime orders Bronn to gather food from the local farmers as they prepare to head home. Cersei meets with her rep from the Iron Bank. Having paid him back, she wonders if he’s amenable to new deals. Baelish gifts Bran with the dagger that was used to almost kill him. Weird gift, and since we haven’t seen it since Ned had it suggests he took it back from him after he captured him for Joffrey. Bran asks if he knew who it belonged to, but Baelish says he does not and that not knowing that is what started the War of the Five Kings. Bran makes a comment that “chaos is a ladder” referencing a comment that Littlefinger said to Varys many years ago (season 3 to be exact). Meera tells Brandon she’s going back home and he coldly says okay. She is upset by his lack of emotion after all that they’ve been through, and losing Summer, Jojen and Hodor to help him. Bran says that he’s not really Bran anymore and Meera thinks he died back in that cave. She leaves. Arya has another troublesome encounter trying to get through the gate at Winterfell. The guards don’t believe who she is, but she manages to sneak in regardless. The guards tell Sansa who says she knows where to find her sister. In the crypt, Arya and Sansa reunite for the first time since season 1 (episode six to be exact). The sisters are cordial, talking about their father, Jon, and their time apart. Arya mentions her kill list, which Sansa scoffs at. They embrace, but realize they have both changed a lot since they last saw each other. Sansa takes Arya to Bran at the Godswood. Bran mentions Arya’s list, he’s like a rolling TBT machine. Oh yeah, he has a wheelchair now. Bran gifts Arya with the Valyrian steel dagger. The Starks return to the castle as Podrick and Brienne look on. Podrick tells her she should be proud, her vow to Catelyn has been fulfilled, even though she didn’t have much to do with it.

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Synopsis: Jon and Davos arrive at Dragonstone and Tyrion and Missandei are there to greet them. Tyrion and Jon catch up as Jon marvels at the dragons flying around. Melisandre watches from afar, which Varys makes not of. She says that as much as she did to broker this meeting, she’s got some issues Snow and Davos. The Red Woman is taking off for Volantis, but says she will be back as she has to die in Westeros, as will Varys. Jon meets Daenerys in the throne room and it does not go well. She is adamant he pledge loyalty to her. He refuses. He tells her about the threat of the White Walkers, but she has trouble believing it. Varys interrupts and the meeting is cut short. After, Varys tells them about Euron’s siege. Theon is pulled out of the water by some of Yara’s men. He tells them she was captured. In King’s Landing, Euron marches through the streets with his prisoners, Ellaria, Tyene and Yara. Euron presents his prisoners as his gift to Cersei. She graciously accepts, riling Jaime. In the dungeon, Cersei ties up Ellaria and Tyene. She poisons Tyene with the same poison used on Myrcella and leaves Ellaria to watch her daughter die. After, Cersei is quite horned up and she takes Jaime in her chambers. In the morning, they are awoken by a servant. Cersei has a visitor from Braavos. Cersei meets with the representative of the Iron Bank and negotiates for another two weeks to repay their debt.

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Synopsis: As rains drown Dragonstone, Daenerys and her council make their plans. Tyrion notes that Dany could win right now if she wanted to destroy the city, but that wouldn’t be the best approach. Dany confronts Varys for his shifting loyalties, and how he served Robert when he tried to have her killed. She challenges him to tell her first if he ever thinks she’s failing the people. In return, she vows to burn him alive should he ever betray her. Before they continue, Grey Worm announces that Melisandre has arrived to meet the queen. The Red Woman discusses the prophecy of the “prince that was promised,” but multilingual Missandei says that the translation isn’t quite accurate. The gender isn’t specified so it could mean prince or princess. Melisandre speaks of Jon Snow, the first time Dany becomes aware of his existence, and Tyrion speaks of him favorably. Daenerys asks for a letter to be sent to the King in the North, inviting him to Dragonstone to bend the knee. Jon receives the letter at Winterfell, thus becoming aware of Dany’s existence, and wonders with Davos and Sansa if he should go. Sansa is opposed by Davos thinks there may be a benefit. Cersei invites the Tarly’s to join forces with her against Olenna. Jaime pushes Randyl Tarly to be one of his leaders, but he has always been faithful to the Tyrells. Sam and Archmaester Ebrose examine Jorah’s greyscale. Ebrose says that there is no cure and Jorah will be gone, maybe in a few months. Qyburn shows Cersei a weapon he’s developed that can pierce a dragon’s skull. They may not be at such a disadvantage.

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Synopsis: Another surprise scene before the opening credits, the first since last season’s “The Broken Man,” and this one also featuring the return of character. This time it’s Walder Frey. But didn’t he die, you say? Wait for it. Walder gathers all the men in his family and serves them wine, offering them a toast. As the men all drink, he celebrates them for their behavior at the Red Wedding, and the slowly chastises them. The men start to choke and cough up blood. As they fall to their deaths, Frey pulls his face off. It’s Arya. In one fell swoop she has ended the Frey line. She tells Frey’s young wife that to tell people that the North remembers. Turns out the winter that is coming is helped by the cold front following the Night King and his army. We haven’t seen the crew in a few episodes, but they’ve picked up some new recruits, notably a couple giants. Bran and Meera arrive at the wall where they meet with Eddison Tollett. Meera introduces them, and Bran creeps them out by telling Edd about his past. Jon talks with the Northerners about prepping for the war to come. He sends Tormund to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, as it will be the first stop if the undead army gets past the wall. As they discuss what to do with the Umbers and Karstarks, Jon says he will not punish children for the acts of their fathers. Sansa is openly defiant and Jon shuts her down. After, Jon chastises Sansa for undermining him and she compares him to Joffrey before quickly taking it back. She concedes that he’s doing okay at the leading thing. Sansa pushes Jon to be smarter than Ned and Robb. They both made bad decisions and got killed for it. Jon is summoned to King’s Landing to bend the knee for Cersei. Sansa reminds Jon that she knows Cersei, and that she’s killed every enemy she’s ever had. Reluctantly, she admits she learned a great deal from the new Queen.

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Synopsis: It’s the day of Cersei’s and Loras’ trials and everyone is getting ready. Cersei puts on her best Wicked Queen in Snow White outfit. The Tyrells, minus grandma, are gathered in the Sept of Baelor with Kevan Lannister, The High Sparrow, the Faith Militant, and dozens of townsfolk. Loras bypasses his trial and simply confesses, and he is branded/scarred by the Faith. Margaery is upset, this was not part of their deal. Back at the Red Keep, Tommen prepares to leave, but the Mountain arrives in his room, and refuses to let him pass. Pycelle follows one of Qyburn’s little birds (a street urchin) to Qyburn’s lab, where he faces down Q as he has an army of little birds take out the old man, stabbing him all over. The High Sparrow orders Lancel to fetch Cersei and when he leaves the Sept, he sees another of the kids, running away and he follows him. In the  cavernous tunnels beneath the city, Lancel follows the kid, discovering hundreds of barrels, a green liquid dripping out. Looks a lot like that stash of wildfire that the Mad King was rumored to have. Before he can react, Lancel is stabbed in the back and falls to the ground, where he sees candles slowly burning away in a pool of the wildfire. He drags himself closer. Margaery, realizing Cersei and Tommen are absent, puts it together that Cersei is up to something and if they don’t leave the Sept ASAP they are well and truly fucked. She pleads with the High Sparrow to let them go, but he says no, and the Faith Militant bar anyone from leaving. Lancel crawls forward, but doesn’t make it and the fire erupts, bursting green flame everywhere, turning him to ash. Margaery, Loras and the others hear the rumble, but can’t react fast enough, and the Sept goes boom, exploding into green flame, with everyone inside now ashes. The High Sparrow? He gone. Margaery? Toast. Loras? Bye bye. Kevan? Seeya. Mace? You too. You get the idea. Cersei watches from the Red Keep, a smile crossing her face as she takes a sip of wine. And we’re only fifteen minutes in.

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Synopsis: Meereen is under siege. Dany has returned to see her city pelted with fireballs. Tyrion is apologetic and Dany doubts that Meereen has been thriving in her absence. Dany is ready to get to work and Tyrion asks if she has a plan. Her plan is to kill the masters and burn their cities down. Tyrion cautions her not to follow in the footsteps of her father. Tyrion has an alternate approach. They meet with the heads of the slave cities to discuss terms of surrender. As the slavers make their demands, Dany says they are there to discuss their surrender not hers. They tell her her reign is over, but she shoots back that it has only just begun. Just then Drogon arrives and she mounts him, riding him into Slaver’s Bay to destroy the ships. Then, Dany’s other dragons bust through their walls to join the fray. As the Sons of the Harpy fight on the land, the Dothraki horde arrives to destroy them. After the fighting, Grey Worm tells the remaining slaves they are free. Of the three masters that remain, Tyrion says one of them must die for breaking their pact, as two of them throw the third under the bus, it is the third whose life is spared. Tell your people you live by the grace of Queen Daenerys, Tyrion says. And tell them what happened should the idea of an uprising come back around.

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Synopsis: Lady Crane performs in the play recounting Joffrey’s death and this time she’s an angry Cersei, per Arya’s prior direction. Backstage, she is stunned to find a wounded Arya. Lady Crane stitches Arya up back at her place. Arya asks about the actress that wanted Lady Crane dead. She says she took care of her. She invites Arya to join the troupe, but Arya says she has other plans. Some of the men that slaughtered Brother Ray’s group are sitting in the woods having a chat when they are disrupted by the Hound and his axe. Heads roll, entrails unleashed, and Clegane asks the last one where their leader is as he’s bleeding out. Tyrion and Varys walk the streets of Meereen and catch one of the women who serves the priestess spreading the heroism of Daenerys. Tyrion’s plan was successful. As they approach the gate, Varys takes his leave. He is needed elsewhere. Qyburn tells Cersei that members of the Faith Militant have been invited into the Red Keep wishing to speak with her. She sees the men with the Mountain. She has been summoned by the High Sparrow, but Cersei refuses to leave. Lancel cautions her that if she doesn’t come with them there will be violence. She agrees to that and they all watch as the Mountain rips the head off one of the Faith. Cersei tells the others the High Sparrow is welcome to visit her in the castle. Brienne and Podrick arrive in Riverrun and see that the Lannister army have camped outside. Bronn and Podrick get reacquainted and Bronn helps with Pod’s training. Jaime and Brienne catch up and Brienne updates Jaime on Sansa’s plan to take back Winterfell. As they discuss each other’s allegiances they realize they are on opposite sides. Jaime lets Brienne offer Brynden safe passage out of Riverrun to support Sansa in exchange for surrendering Riverrun to the Lannisters and he agrees. She tries to return his sword to him but he refuses. It’s hers. Brienne fails to convince the Blackfish to surrender. Brienne tells Pod to get a raven to send back to Sansa. Tell her I failed, she says.

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Synopsis: What’s this now? A scene before the opening credits? The first time since the season 4 premiere, and the first time it hasn’t been a premiere. We see a bunch of men pulling a Habitat for Humanity as they build a house, under the tutelage of Brother Ray (guest star Ian McShane). One of the men is revealed to be none other than the Hound, who is apparently not quite dead. Brother Ray comments that he’s never seen anyone swing an ax like the Hound. When the crew breaks for lunch, The Hound eats by himself. Brother Ray says the other men are afraid of him, but Sandor is used to that. It was Ray that found the Hound near death and brought him back. He asks what kept him alive and the Hound says “hate.” Brother Ray says the gods have plans for him. The High Sparrow visits Margaery as she’s reading one of the holy books. They discuss the religious texts and then the Sparrow asks why Margaery hasn’t resumed trying to make a baby with her husband. She doesn’t have the interest, she admits, but he assures her that she must provide Tommen with an heir to keep all the good work that they’ve done. Then, the Sparrow manages a veiled threat against Olenna. Margaery is allowed to see Olenna under supervision, which grandma is none too excited about. Magaery maintains all of her support for the faith, and tells Olenna she needs to go home, while slipping her grandmother a small paper with the Tyrell rose on it. Margaery letting Olenna know she’s still on their side. In the field, Jon Snow, Davos and Sansa meet with the Wildlings who don’t want to give their support to Jon. His fight is not their fight. Jon agrees, but if they don’t help him now they will be fighting the Boltons once he destroys Jon. Tormund convinces his people to support Jon, but the giant’s support helped too.

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Synopsis: Meera continues to drag Bran through the cold, and he’s still out of it, flashing throughout time. He sees himself falling out of the tower, the mad king Aerys shouting “burn them all,” Jaime stabbing Aerys in the back, Ned’s beheading, Robb’s death, and many other events.  The wights move in closer and Bran awakens saying “they found us.” Meera apologizes. As the wights attack, a cloaked man on a horse with a flaming weapon stops them. He tells Meera to follow him. Sam, Gilly and baby Sam approach his home. Gilly notes Sam is nervous, and he admits he never thought he’d be back there. She also figures out he never told his family she was a wildling. Sam and Gilly enter the massive Tarly estate where he is reunited his mother and sister. He tells them Baby Sam is his son. The High Sparrow and Tommen meet in the Sept, discussing Margaery’s conversion to the faith. Tommen finally gets to see his wife and they share a warm embrace. Margaery admits she’s made mistakes but Tommen says she’s a good person. She hopes that Loras will get the same chance at freedom. Gilly, all made up and in a dress joins Sam for dinner where we meet Lord Randyll Tarly and Sam’s brother Dickon. Dinner is quiet and tense. The elder Tarly is cruel and vile towards Sam, and Gilly sticks up for him, referencing his killing of a White Walker. Randyll figures out Gilly is a wildling, and he is the opposite of ecstatic. He points out the Valyrian steel sword, Heartsbane, that has been in their family for 500 years, and vows that Sam will never have it because he has dishonored the family. He tells Sam he has to leave in the morning and never come back. Instead, Sam takes Gilly, baby Sam, and Heartsbane and leaves in the middle of the night.

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