Synopsis: Ramsay and his lady, Myranda, along with his dogs, and Theon/Reek in tow, hunt a young girl through the woods. Myranda gets a shot in, bringing the girl down and they all watch as his dogs devour her. Tyrion and Jaime have dinner, where Jaime laments his predicament with his hand, or lack thereof. Tyrion enlists Bronn’s aid to help Jaime train swordfighting with his left hand. Roose Bolton arrives at Winterfell and greets Ramsay with his new bride, another Frey daughter. Ramsay introduces his father to Theon, after his reprogramming. Bolton is upset Ramsay acted without his orders. Theon would’ve been a valuable bargaining chip. Roose says he’s placed too much trust in Ramsay. Ramsay demonstrates his power over Theon. Theon confesses that he didn’t kill the Stark boys but two orphans he passed off as them. Ramsay tells Theon that Roose killed Robb. Roose sends Locke and his men to find the Stark boys. Roose dangles the Bolton name for his bastard son if he proves himself. Varys warns Tyrion that Shae is in danger, Cersei knows who she is and Tywin has threatened to kill the next whore of Tyrion’s. Joffrey receives his wedding gifts, including a gold goblet from Mace Tyrell, Margaery’s father. Cersei points out Shae to Tywin. Tyrion gives Joffrey a book. Tywin gives Joffrey the other Valyrian steel sword he made from Ned’s blade. Joffrey uses Tyrion’s book to practice with his sword. He names his sword widow’s wail. Tyrion meets with Shae and tells her she has to go. He is mean to her so she will leave. He calls for Bronn to take Shae away, as she breaks down. The Red Woman sacrifices several men. Including Stannis’ wife Selyse’s brother. Davos continues to question Stannis’ reliance and belief in Melisandre. At dinner, Selyse says she fears for their daughter because she’s stubborn. Stannis says Shireen is not to be touched. Melisandre visits Shireen and they discuss the sacrifice. Shireen is stubborn and believes that there’s something wrong with the sacrifice. Melisandre tells the little girl that there aren’t seven gods as she was originally taught, but two: the lord of light and the lord of darkness. Bran wargs into Summer but Hodor wakes him in the middle of it. Jojen warns him against spending too much time warging. Summer happens on tree with the face in it and Bran has Hodor bring him closer. When he touches it, he has visions of the three-eyed raven, his father, the White Walkers, the Iron Throne, and more. A voice tells him “north.”
Joffrey and Margaery are married. Afterwards, Tywin and Olenna discuss finances as they make their way to the extravagant reception. Bronn tells Tyrion that he placed Shae safely on the ship. She’s gone. Margaery continues to ingratiate herself to the poor by offering them the leftovers by decree of Joffrey. Oberyn eyes Loras, as Jaime pulls Loras and threatens him against ever marrying Cersei. Brienne offers her congratulations to the newly-wedded couple. Cersei calls Brienne on her infatuation with Jaime. Cersei moves along to Pycelle and tells him to feed the leftovers to the dogs, usurping Margaery’s command. Cersei and Tywin meet Oberyn and Ellaria. The passive-aggressive threatening is strong with all of them. It’s clear Oberyn is a threat. Joffrey terrorizes the band, his fool, and continuing his reign of awfulness, showcases an acting troupe made of little people representing Renly, Stark and others, taunting Sansa, Loras and Tyrion most of all. Joffrey doubles down on his attack on Tyrion by pouring wine on his head and demanding he be his cup bearer. Margaery tries to break the tension. Joffrey demands Tyrion kneel before him, but he holds fast. Margaery calls out that the pie has arrived. Joffrey slices into it with his new sword. Sansa and Tyrion try to sneak out but Joffrey says he should remain and demands another drink. Tyrion refills his glass and Joffrey chugs it but starts to cough. He spits up as he falls forward, eyes and nose bleeding, and vomits. Jaime and Cersei rush to his side as takes his last breath and turns blue. Cersei turns to Tyrion, holding his cup, and accuses him of poisoning Joffrey and demands that he be taken.
Comments: And now his reign is ended. Just as we get a new sadistic villain in Ramsay Snow, we say goodbye to the first sadistic villain in King Joffrey. While his poisoning was left fairly ambiguous on first watch, after all the pieces are known, it’s great to see how all the clues are right there. There are no throwaway moments in the show, so something subtle like Olenna admiring Sansa’s necklace has to serve some greater purpose, and it does. For those that didn’t know this was coming, it was a welcome relief to finally have one of the bad guys taken out, especially one as irredeemable as Joffrey. Even his own family loathed him by the end, despite what they may’ve said. And despite his behind-the-scenes machinations, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Littlefinger. Roose unleashing Ramsay on an unsuspecting world will certainly have consequences. We have another recast with the dearly departed Martyn Lannister, Dean Charles Chapman returning to play Joffrey’s little brother and the youngest son of Cersei (and Jaime). The mystery of Joffrey’s murder is one of the better machinations of the creators, as it propels the story in different directions than expected. Suddenly the war for the throne changes when the king is defeated in the most unexpected way. While it was expected (and hoped) that Joffrey would be murdered, on his wedding day, shrouded in mystery was not the way it was expected. As Tyrion is blamed, the final nail in the coffin of mild affection between him and his sister is hammered in.
Quotes:
Tyrion: A toast, to the proud Lannister children: the dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness.
Roose (to Ramsay): My banners, not yours. You’re not a Bolton. You’re a Snow.
Jaime (to Bronn): My brother tells me you can keep your mouth shut. Unusual talent for a sellsword.
Bronn: Go drink until it feels like you did the right thing.
Cersei (to Pycelle): You’re annoying me right now. Every breath you draw in my presence annoys me.
Foreshadowing: Ramsay’s dogs look hungry. Hope he never starves them. Oberyn’s disdain for the Lannisters is sure to lead somewhere.
Title: The sigils of House Lannister (Lion) and House Tyrell (Rose).
Deaths: The young woman by Myranda and Ramsay’s dogs. Melisandre’s sacrifices. And King Joffrey, by poison, assailants to be detailed later.
excellent awkward 